I Wonder - K's Story

* Trigger warning - the story shared may trigger some readers due to the topics shared. Please read at your advisement. * 

When I was 10 years old my parents decided to move from England to Australia with my sisters and I.  I was excited, my sisters weren’t. We lived in Australia for 3 years. 

While settled in to our new life in Australia, I decided to audition for a local play. I was 12 years old. 

Looking back now I wish I hadn't done it. I shouldn’t have done it.

Every time I went to rehearsals and show nights, a 17 year old boy would take me into the costume closet and sexually abuse me. I was 12 years old. I didn’t know what was happening. I didn’t know how wrong it was. I didn't understand that he was abusing me. 

The strange thing is, we were sat behind stage once and an older man about 50-60, looked and stared at us. While this predator was massaging my shoulders. 17 year old boy massaging a 12 year old girl. I mean you’d say something if you saw a teenage boy touching a young girl even in that way, right? 

He didn't. 

It all finally ended when the play was over. Now I’m 18 and it still effects me everyday. My family & I are back in England now and it’s strange how someone can effect your life so much when they’re half way around the world.

 I’m learning everyday and trying to work past what he did to me but it’s still so hard. I haven’t told my family, so they still joke about ‘that play I was in’.  I try and focus that horrible depressing shame into something positive.

This ‘boy’ is now married.  I often wonder what he will ever do if he has children. 

Katie Greenhalgh